Attention, children, hopped up on ADD meds and Internet juice. It’s time to learn some vocab before your frenzied foray into the weekend wars (Yeah, I just referenced MGMT—deal with it). Now, I know some of you are planning a little sightseeing at your local hipster enclave come sundown. Some of you may even attempt to wear a knit cap ironically and/or test out those suspenders you bought at Goodwill last weekend. Well, be warned—you’re about to embody the textbook definition of yet another thing hipsters hate: Scenesters.
While people often use the terms “hipster” and “scenester” interchangeably, they are actually quite distinct. Observe the following definitions, compliments of Merriam-Webster:
Hipster: A person who is unusually aware of and interested in new and unconventional patterns (as in jazz or fashion).
Scenester: A person who frequents a social or cultural scene.
Take that in slowly, gentle reader. A scenester doesn’t actually live the lifestyle—he/she merely “frequents” it, acting as a cultural tourist. Therefore, after dancing wildly at Glasslands with all the longhairs, the scenester cabs it back home, where sweatpants, Sunny DVDs and a generously stocked fridge are waiting. The hipster, on the other hand, is “unusually aware of and interested in” every aspect of the scene, such that every moment is spent contemplating “new and unconventional patterns!” Patterns that often involve sneaking onto the bar’s patio in the dead of winter, getting too smashed to successfully hail a cab, literally crawling down one’s street on one’s hand and knees, passing out in the door frame, waking and realizing one has no food to speak of and ruing one’s wasted existence. Fuck “frequenting” a scene—a hipster marinates in it. Anything else is just hipster lite.
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